Have you read about the Responsibility Project?

Liberty Mutual is sponsoring an online community to discuss ways that people are taking responsibility in our world. Part of the mission statement of the project is this:

We believe that the more people think and talk about responsibility, and even debate what it means, the more it can affect how we live our daily lives. And perhaps, in this small way, together, we can make the world just a little better.

Broadcast journalist Kathy McManus writes a blog there, posing thought-provoking questions to help guide discussion about important issues in our world. If you have a story to share, you’re encouraged to join the discussion. Visitors are also encouraged to define their own policy for what makes a responsible parent, student, friend, etc. What an excellent tool for passing the torch.

Several high-quality short videos are also available on the site. This one — an 11-minute movie called “New Boy” — shows an African boy’s difficult first day of school in Ireland. It highlights the important decisions he and others around him must make.

We each experience the world with a different perspective. Perhaps our greatest responsibility is to try to see that of someone else.

Do you have a story about kids that make you proud, or adults who are passing the torch? Please let me know and I’ll spread the word on Pass the Torch Tuesday.Former PTT posts.

Chilihead is hosting a “Children’s Chores and Allowance” carnival, and I thought I’d give my two cents, along some tips that are really working for us.

My kids are ages 8 and 10. They receive a weekly allowance of $4 and $6 respectively. They also periodically earn money from packaging our educational products. They’ve done this since ages 3 and 5. From their allowance, they’re expected to donate at least $1 to charity and put something in their savings account each week. They can spend no more than $1.50 per week on candy. The rest is up to them.

Both kids keep their rooms picked up, stuff clean clothing into their dressers fold and put away their own laundry, make their beds, put their own dirty dishes in the sink, and make their own breakfast (and sack lunch, if they don’t like what will be served at school.) D has two additional chores — taking out the garbage and unloading the dishwasher daily. They also help us with family projects, and we only pay them extra for these if they’re strenuous (leave raking, shoveling snow.) There’s an assumption that everyone helps to make the house run. There’s no hesitation if I say, “C, will you please set the table?” or “D, will you please check to make sure the cat has food and water?” I hesitate to call many of these responsibilities “chores” because they are just daily necessities, and I’m sure there are many more regular expectations I haven’t listed.

Each year on their birthdays, they’ll receive one additional dollar per week, and one additional chore (which they can help to choose.)

We’ve tried other systems, and tried paying more in return for more chores, but I found that this amount and expectation is manageable, and the chores are completed at my standard.

TIP #1: CHOOSE CHORES THAT ARE BLACK AND WHITE
Chores that are either done, or not done (ie, dishes are either in the dishwasher, or they’re not; garbage is either taken out, or it’s not) are less likely to cause frustration. My kids’ standard for “clean” is different than mine.

TIP #2: MAKE GENTLE REMINDERS A PART OF YOUR DAY
I used to get angry that my kids hadn’t taken care of a responsibility. I’d yell and take it personally. But really? They’re just clueless — not mean-spirited. I found out that if I politely remind them to take care of things, they do it without a fuss. Reminding myself that the point of the chore is to get the work done, I stopped the drama and just accepted reminders as a part of my routine.

TIP #3: GIVE THEM OWNERSHIP
I let the kids help choose which chores they’d like to do (beyond the required basics.) This doesn’t mean that I’ll always agree to their choice, or that it will work out longterm, but if D wants to trade taking out the garbage, for cleaning toilets, we’ll definitely discuss.

While our kids would like to earn more money than they do, and D is constantly explaining how much more allowance her friends get, I’m comfortable with the current arrangement for now. If we paid what her friends get, we’d probably expect our kids to start buying their own school clothes and birthday party gifts.

Different systems work in different families and I’m so anxious to read what others do. What chores do your kids do?? Don’t forget to visit Chilihead to read the other posts in the carnival. This post is also a part of the Carnival of Family Life. For more great tips, please visit Rocks in my Dryer.

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This essay appeared in over 100 US newspapers in October, and was released March 1, 2007 in Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Ten Thousand Miles in Blue Streak

As a child, raised by a single mother, my experience in the 1970’s was different from that of my friends. I was a latchkey kid with more responsibilities than other children my age. But Mom worked hard, saved every penny, and made a comfortable life for us — one that included her passion for travel.
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This week’s Pass the Torch Tuesday spotlight post is from Tonya, at Drama Queen’s Momma. Who needs a doctor, when Karate Kid is in the house?

Tonya receives the Pass the Torch award button, a developmental assets refrigerator magnet (just email me your address, Tonya), and a place of honor on my sidebar for the whole week. Congratulations Tonya!

Also, for those of you following the Experiment, I’ve included several links in the sidebar, including Deena’s journal page.

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Human Google Search

(You may recognize this story from July, during my pre-Pass-the-Torch Tuesday days.)

I don’t know where he got his gift, but Craig is a human Google Search.

Maybe it’s because his mind isn’t cluttered with insignificant drivel like what it was Mom asked him to do THREE SECONDS AGO. No matter what I’ve misplaced, I’ve learned to plug it into the seven-year-old search engine and he’ll find it. My keys, my sunglasses, my favorite pen that grows legs and hides on me every-other day.

“I know where it is!” he proclaims, and runs off to retrieve it.

In other aspects of his life, he’s a total scatterbrain, so I’m not really sure why he has such a talent for finding my things. But I know that I do NOT have this gift, so we complement each other well. If only someone could step in to locate the shoes he loses on a daily basis.

Either way, I hope he always keeps his gift and the attitude he has about sharing it.

Pass the Torch Tuesday Guidelines: Every week, we share simple and stupendous times kids make us proud. Just write about catching a kid being good, link to this specific post (it may ping in comments) or put your link in comments so we can find it, and read everyone’s posts. Or if you’d prefer to share your story in comments, that’s fine as well! Complete guidelines and former PTT links are >HERE< .

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