Chilihead is hosting a “Children’s Chores and Allowance” carnival, and I thought I’d give my two cents, along some tips that are really working for us.

My kids are ages 8 and 10. They receive a weekly allowance of $4 and $6 respectively. They also periodically earn money from packaging our educational products. They’ve done this since ages 3 and 5. From their allowance, they’re expected to donate at least $1 to charity and put something in their savings account each week. They can spend no more than $1.50 per week on candy. The rest is up to them.

Both kids keep their rooms picked up, stuff clean clothing into their dressers fold and put away their own laundry, make their beds, put their own dirty dishes in the sink, and make their own breakfast (and sack lunch, if they don’t like what will be served at school.) D has two additional chores — taking out the garbage and unloading the dishwasher daily. They also help us with family projects, and we only pay them extra for these if they’re strenuous (leave raking, shoveling snow.) There’s an assumption that everyone helps to make the house run. There’s no hesitation if I say, “C, will you please set the table?” or “D, will you please check to make sure the cat has food and water?” I hesitate to call many of these responsibilities “chores” because they are just daily necessities, and I’m sure there are many more regular expectations I haven’t listed.

Each year on their birthdays, they’ll receive one additional dollar per week, and one additional chore (which they can help to choose.)

We’ve tried other systems, and tried paying more in return for more chores, but I found that this amount and expectation is manageable, and the chores are completed at my standard.

TIP #1: CHOOSE CHORES THAT ARE BLACK AND WHITE
Chores that are either done, or not done (ie, dishes are either in the dishwasher, or they’re not; garbage is either taken out, or it’s not) are less likely to cause frustration. My kids’ standard for “clean” is different than mine.

TIP #2: MAKE GENTLE REMINDERS A PART OF YOUR DAY
I used to get angry that my kids hadn’t taken care of a responsibility. I’d yell and take it personally. But really? They’re just clueless — not mean-spirited. I found out that if I politely remind them to take care of things, they do it without a fuss. Reminding myself that the point of the chore is to get the work done, I stopped the drama and just accepted reminders as a part of my routine.

TIP #3: GIVE THEM OWNERSHIP
I let the kids help choose which chores they’d like to do (beyond the required basics.) This doesn’t mean that I’ll always agree to their choice, or that it will work out longterm, but if D wants to trade taking out the garbage, for cleaning toilets, we’ll definitely discuss.

While our kids would like to earn more money than they do, and D is constantly explaining how much more allowance her friends get, I’m comfortable with the current arrangement for now. If we paid what her friends get, we’d probably expect our kids to start buying their own school clothes and birthday party gifts.

Different systems work in different families and I’m so anxious to read what others do. What chores do your kids do?? Don’t forget to visit Chilihead to read the other posts in the carnival. This post is also a part of the Carnival of Family Life. For more great tips, please visit Rocks in my Dryer.

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There’s a great discussion going on at 5 Minutes for Mom. I was meaning to post this question as a follow-up to my Positively Speaking column this month, about responsibility. But they beat me to the punch!! Excellent questions and comments about allowance. Add your two cents (here or there).