Join me in setting School Year’s Resolutions. Details at the end of the post.
A few years ago I started reading headlines about “balance,” but I really didn’t get it. That’s because there was little balance in my life – every part of it was all-or-nothing. For a while that attitude helped me to achieve a lot, but as our family and professional lives became more and more complex, my perfectionist streak turned me into a gigantic stress ball.
Did you know?
“Not only does stress and anxiety interfere with your immune system, making you vulnerable to illnesses like the flu, it impairs your body’s ability to respond to its anti-inflammatory signals, putting you at an increased risk of allergies, autoimmune diseases and heart disease. “
-Source – SixWise.com
Some items on the following list are very specific, so your list might look much different than mine. Some ideas may sound selfish, others like no-brainers. But I know from experience, that stress is a cancer that grows and destroys. I’m no good to anyone when my life is not in balance, and I know that little actions can have large impacts.
Some day, I’m sure it will require less to keep an equilibrium, but at this time it’s something I need to be very conscious about. I still lose my balance sometimes, but I’m getting better.
I only mention here what I do pretty regularly – my goals list will come next week in the form of School Year’s Resolutions. Although at times I notice stress creeping back in, the items on this list help me to keep it at bay.
What “balance” means to me:
Attitude
- Choosing not to implement an idea. Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.
- Crossing less crucial items off the to-do list, even if they’re not yet done.
- Keeping a part-time job I enjoy, with a regular paycheck.
- Not fixing everything that’s broken.
- Not replacing things that still work.
- Twittering. In moderation.
- Sometimes going the extra mile. Other times not.
- Resisting the urge to constantly change my blog design – or anything else.
- Sometimes saying, “Yes.” Sometimes, “No.”
- Using the word “sometimes” often. It helps me to resist my all-or-nothing tendencies.
- Regularly reading my favorite blogs, and sometimes clicking through the reader to comment.
- Sometimes marking “all read” on my Google Reader, even when the posts aren’t read.
- Writing on Pass the Torch 2-3 times per week.
- Making most of the decisions about our kids when my husband’s at work, and letting him make most the decisions when he’s home.
- Considering what I will do, instead of what I think someone else should do.
- Letting the dog sleep on the couch, but not in the bed.
- Taking photos, thousands of which will sit unused in my backup drive.
- Watching movies. Watching little other TV.
- Avoiding the ubiquitous negativity that fills many network newscasts – while relying on bloggers and friends to point me toward the news I need.
- Smiling. Laughing.
Organization
- Writing several weeks-worth of posts and auto-scheduling them.
- Combining trips, making visits and running errands on the way.
- Planting a single-tomato-plant garden.
- Installing low-maintenance landscaping.
- Paying a bi-weekly cleaning lady, rather than paying for restaurants.
- Sometimes helping with the kids’ chores (ages 9 and 11) and them helping me to do mine.
- Reading emails in my BlackBerry and responding only in my head.
- Volunteering only in the activities my kids are involved.
- Cooking dinners at home for my husband and both kids.
- Sometimes ordering pizza during the school year, on days I work.
- Not folding the kids’ clothes. Not caring if they end up in their drawers unfolded.
- Pausing as I type this list, to watch a chipmunk jump around on the rocks outside.
- Sometimes letting the grass get too long.
- Letting the dust build up, but using disinfecting cloths regularly in the bath and kitchen.
- Living one mile from school/work.
- Moving to the cabin in the summer.
- Keeping to-do and grocery lists on the fridge. Expecting everyone to add to and accomplish the lists.
- Hanging the laundry to dry on hot days. Using the dryer on cold ones.
- Doing a 10-minute house pickup with the whole family.
- Having company once in a while.
- Doing my QuickBooks business accounting in a marathon session just twice per year.
- Spending my time during off-work days writing and doing business – not housework.
- Washing clothes and dishes, and cooking when the kids are home, can see me do it and help.
Relationships
- Sometimes expecting less. Sometimes giving less than is expected. Sometimes more.
- Sometimes parting ways with my husband and kid(s) during family visits – to efficiently make connections with both families.
- Expanding my definition of “girlfriend” – to neighbor, mom of kids’ friends, co-leader for DI, carpool sharer, colleague
- Calling a friend or family member the day before to see if we can get together, and celebrating when the last-minute visit works.
- Arranging playdates.
- Spending more time with people that help me accomplish the list, and less time with those who hinder it.
- Committing to visit my mom once per month.
- Appreciating the short visits I have with distant friends and family members, rather than grieving the fact I see them so little.
Next week, I’ll share my School Year’s Resolutions. Each year about this time, I do what the rest of the world does January 1. This timing just seems to work better for me. You can see the past two years of resolutions here and here. Won’t you join me? I’ll include a Mr. Linky with my resolutions on August 22.
How do you keep your balance?
Tags: balance, goals, stress
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9:52 am
I’ll have to think of some school year resolutions. It’s good to set goals for the year.
I think the key to balance is organization and prioritizing what’s truly important in our lives, rather than simply doing what is urgent. I enjoyed reading your list. Attitude and relationships are so important. My problem sometimes is motivation.
I read a book, Perpetual Motivation by Dave Durand, that speaks to this issue of balance. I would recommend it.
10:15 am
Praise God for number 1! Just because I can doesn’t mean I should…I need to tape that to my monitor.
11:28 am
I think your list is coming just in time for me. Arrrggghh.
11:52 am
Yes – I like to stay ahead and work on posts ahead and keep drafts going. I want to plan my meals out better this year and keep working on not worrying so much about my house!
12:52 pm
Thanks for stopping by! I really liked this post. Sometimes balancing everything can be hard. Your site is neat.
3:23 pm
What a great list! I look forward to seeing your school year resolutions!
4:27 pm
I love your list. I also love taking time for the things that I consider important and letting some of the other things go. Not always folding the clothes is a great example. Kids usually go through their drawers looking for one special item and “unfold” most of them anyway.
4:28 pm
I totally want to come back and dig into your list when I have more time. Taking time to identify your strengths and things that help is SO important to our success.
Hugs,
Holly
4:32 pm
I love your list, especially the idea about auto scheduling posts.
9:16 am
I’ve had to learn a lot about balance. A LOT. LOL.
Great post and glad I found you!
3:32 pm
I like the plant ONE tomato…. you should have published this list before I created the JUNGLE I call my garden. I can’t find the squash or cucumbers at all!
4:20 pm
School starts in 2 weeks, and your suggestions are a good starting point for getting focused for the new school year. One of my non-school-related organizational tasks has to be to get my overly abundant day lilies thinned and re-located!
BTW, The Scholastic Scribe is back online. Please drop in tomorrow and Share the Caption Love during another HighLARious Silly Summer Sunday Sweepstakes!
5:17 pm
What a helpful post! You’ve given me the encouragement to be introspective myself, and I’m going to make my own list. Thanks!
3:11 am
[...] at Pass the Torch is holding her annual School Year’s Resolution Carnival beginning August 22nd. For more information on how you can participate, stop by Pass the Torch [...]
11:42 pm
Hi there! I heard from 5 Minutes for Mom that you were doing a carnival. I’m just trying to get information on that. Also, I see that you like carnivals just as much as I do, so I wanted to let you know that I’m starting one tomorrow – with prize attached! You might be interested. Hope to see you around!
12:24 am
“Not folding the kids’ clothes. Not caring if they end up in their drawers unfolded.”
That is one of my favorites from your list. I learned to do the same thing last year and it has removed a lot of stress from my life and from theirs. Finding balance is never easy for me. I should make a list too. Thanks for sharing!
8:24 am
This is a great list! I could relate to some – which feels so good that I’m doing good stuff for me already! And I got lots of good tips too! Thanks for taking the time to write this!
Take care,
Cathy
1:16 pm
Love the first one… just because I can, doesn’t mean that I should and also love your “sometimes” attitude cause I am the same way. However, for me, I’ve learned, (tragically only recently) that I sometimes feel that if I want it done right, I need to do it… but if I can’t do it right, it doesn’t get done. It’s a vicious cycle.
Thanks for sharing! To a Happy and Fulfilled 2009!