As parents, we spend a lot of time loving, guiding, redirecting and reinforcing. But we don’t always recognize the importance of empowering. Small acts of empowerment can easily become a part of our parenting routine. Asking a child to choose his or her own outfit, chore, or restaurant meal, can take more time, with unknown results, but each experience gives children just a little more confidence about making their own choices in the future.
This week for Pass the Torch Tuesday, I wrote about my ten-year-old daughter’s social entrepreneur project. She’s started a Bookworm Wednesday club for the neighborhood children, and I think her strength in initiating it is partly the result of the empowerment she’s experienced along the way.
So although it may not feel comfortable to allow a two-year-old birthday girl to choose her own color frosting, consider what’s the worst that could happen?
Letting go of the reins - it works for me!
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10:54 pm
I think it’s so important to teach children responsibility and consequences for actions within the boundaries of the home so that they will develop wise and discerning spirits in preparation for adulthood! It’s great to give them lots of practice in the little things!
11:21 pm
This is a great idea. I STILL have a hard time trying to decide what to wear in the mornings - I do not want that for my kids!
Mrs. Brownstone @ XBOX Wife
http://xboxwife.blogspot.com/
11:59 pm
Good point. Really good point, actually. I’ve been letting go lately. And I’m so proud of me for doing it. I always love your tips!
7:39 am
You haven’t seen what my 6 year old dressing attire consist of ~ EEKKS. I allow them to wear what they want at home ~ regardless
of how ridiculous it looks. My son is into wearing the layer look.
Great tip~
http://tonsofsons.wordpress.com/
9:18 am
Great reminder! I’m always amazed by my kiddos’ abilities when I take that extra moment and give them the chance to do something all by themselves.
12:43 pm
I love this vital perspective. I’m so proud of D for her reading club too - that’s awesome! I know my kids always respond better when they feel a level of power and control in any situation.
Hugs,
Holly
3:30 pm
I do this all the time (just yesterday I said to my two-year-old daughter, “Do you want to go to the book store or the playland at McDonald’s?” I do it because I honestly don’t care which she chooses, though, as long as she’ll play nicely and give me a 5 minute break! Ha ha! I’d rather she just pick something and be happy than have a battle. Who knew I was “empowering” her? I’m going to re-frame that in my mind, and feel like a smarter mommy! Thanks!!
12:24 am
Empowering my 2 1/2 year old is something I really struggle with. I find myself wanted to do things for him or to correct his “mistakes” rather than empowering him to figure things out or to explore things on his own. I’m working on it though. Good post!
On a different topic, since you participated last year, I’m stopping by to let you know that I’m hosting a 2nd Edition of my Holiday Cooking, Blogger Style recipe exchange!
I hope you can join me again this year on 5 October. And, would you mind helping me to spread the word by publishing a post about my holiday recipe exchange before next Friday? I’d sure appreciate it! I have the button in my most recent post.
Thanks so much!
5:37 am
I’m with Amy — all this time I thought I was being lazy and avoiding a fight!
Unless my kids are going to school or church they wear whatever they want to wear. They attend a Catholic school so they wear uniforms (problem solved there) and for church I give them two choices of a socially acceptable outfit. But we have many days in the dead of winter when they wear bathing suits in the house all day long. Who cares?
My mother-in-law is constantly amazed that I let them pack their own clothes when we come to visit (MIL lives 300 miles away). Most of the clothes we own are pink so it’s hard not to match. (I do make sure they have plenty of underwear, socks and pjs.)
But now I’ll tell MIL, I’m empowering my children.
All joking aside, I agree completely. When you sit back and think about most of these situations, allowing your child to make the decision is a win-win situation. Of course there are the situations that don’t warrant their input (taking medicine, not eating ice cream alone for breakfast, lunch and dinner, etc.)
Good post!
12:26 pm
Oh yeah, as my mom would say… cut those apron strings sometimes.
Stop by my blog if you get a chance, I have something for you. http://laurawilliamsmusings.blogspot.com/2007/09/blogging-star-blogging-star.html
5:06 pm
I totally agree! Letting Anna make decisions lets her feel like she is important and that she is accomplishing something good.
10:16 pm
Nice post!
4:15 am
You are so right.
I’ve always focussed on empowering them, especially the children with autism spectrum syndrome.
Now they’re in puberty I sometimes doubt if it’s good for me. LOL!
10:13 pm
This is a good tip! It’s hard to let go of the control, but its so good for the kids. I recently let my daughter put up Little Mermaid wallies all over her room. Where ever she wanted. It’s not the beautiful Asian theme I had planned for her room, but she loves it. Maybe I’ll do my room with the Asian theme.
Jen @ Lords of the Manor
10:35 am
Letting Go of the Reins
This is a parenting tip that I don’t think we consider very often. Empowering our kids isn’t always a very natural interaction. But I link to a story that shows the possible results!
4:19 pm
I’m supervising our school’s service club this year. The kids are awesome; we hope to build confidence and empowerment in them as well.
11:36 am
My kids are now 9 and 7 and I have always tried to give them choices in areas where what they pick doesn’t really matter. Does it really matter if they clean up their room or the basement first. Does it really matter if they wear a red shirt with orange pants? I think the kids appreciate feeling like they have some power and control. In situations where it does matter, however, I have found it helpful to give them a choice between two or three appropriate options. They still feel like they have power and I still have kids doing what they are suppose to. It is a win-win situation!