Monday, the 13th, my husband and I celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.
Thirteen years ago, I don’t think I could comprehend how difficult marriage can be. Raising a family and managing personal and professional lives can be daunting, stressful, and sometimes downright overwhelming. And since neither of us is perfect, we mess up a lot, and cause even greater stress on one another, than we would alone.
But it occurred to me recently, the invisible ways I’ve come to rely on my husband. After thirteen years together, there’s a rhythm of responsibility. Sometimes this rhythm is out of whack and called into question. Sometimes the drum doesn’t beat at all and our whole family falls into a chaotic abyss. But sometimes, the rhythm keeps time in areas I don’t even recognize.
For instance, I never gas up the car.
In fact, besides overnight conference trips, my only service station visits result from my frantic discovery that the dummy light is on. Other than that, my vehicles miraculously get filled on their own.
You see, we trade vehicles, depending upon where I’m going that day. If I’m driving a long distance, I’ll take the vehicle with better gas mileage. If I’m staying close to home, my husband takes that one. The regular trade in vehicles happens often enough, that he fills not only his own vehicle, but mine as well. Since anything “auto” is simply not on my radar, but very much on his, I rely on the dummy light, while he’ll never let the tank get below a quarter.
This may seem like a simple thing. So what? He’s a guy – he fills the tank. But the point is that it never crosses my mind. I don’t think about filling the tank. It just gets done. And I wonder how many other responsibilities are not on my radar, but are on his. I wonder how much he has to do with the fact our family rhythm is very good most of the time.
So, Husband, know that I appreciate the fact my tank’s always full.
Happy anniversary.
I love you.
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Tags: anniversary, gas tank, husband
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1:56 am
I always hop in hubby’s car and its on EEEEEEmpty.
Whereas… I fill my tank when it gets near that mark.
What a fun and wonderful thing to tell your husband… that you appreciate the tank’s always full.
Mine mows the lawn. It is miraculously always mowed. I appreciate the fact that my grass is green and neat.
2:20 am
AWWW. that is sweet. it really is. I’ve been reading you a lot, just haven’t commented ina while – sorry about that! Congrats on your anniversary.
5:24 pm
I dread filling up the gas tank. I don’t know why but it’s such an inconvenience to me. You’re very lucky!
Happy Anniversary!
8:27 pm
What a great example of a partnership in action! Oh sure, lots of other things dont go as smoothly, but thats life in the modern world for you….what counts most is that youve noticed and value this. A little appreciation sure goes a long way!
Thanks for the positive post, the net needs more of them!
12:58 am
Life is to live fully. I honor your marriage. Celebrate joyfully the love you embrace. Happy Anniversary.
5:06 am
Congratulations. I wish you many more years to come, with all those almost invisible spurprises.
5:38 pm
Awww a very Happy Anniversary to you both… a little late but still…:) Isn’t that rhythm a beautiful thing. I can’t imagine going solo with life as a mom and with all the adult responsibilities!!
Hugs,
Holly
8:36 am
What a sweetie! Happy Anniversary.
6:09 am
[...] My mom would say we’ve been moving ever since we got married. [...]
8:30 am
13 Years of Marriage and the Tank’s Always Full
It’s so easy to take a spouse for granted. There may be simple, and overlooked, ways that a spouse contributes to a marriage.
8:59 pm
That was sweet. Happy anniversary. (My tank is always full too.)
12:47 am
Wow, congrats!
We just celebrated year 2 in July. I’m always so scared when we “mess up”, but so far we’ve always managed to talk it out, and it helps to know that it’s not ALL smooth for others too. Lets me relax and focus on what we do right – which is a lot. I got some really great advice a while back: for every wrong thing you point out in a relationship, make up for it with pointing out two things you appreciate from the other person. Thanks for reminding me to look for the less obvious things!
11:01 am
[...] 2. 13 years of Marriage and the tanks always full. Kelly at Pass the Torch wrote a wonderful post that seems to mirror my own life. I’ve also been married for 13 years and I never have to put gas in the car. And for that I am grateful! [...]
12:37 pm
[...] It’s not like I have nothing to do today. There’s the ongoing “move” to-do list, and my new job. But I don’t work Mondays, so I’m taking a moment to ponder yet another milestone (I’ve had a few in the past couple of weeks.) Are you laughing, like you were at the bus stop? [...]
3:11 am
Hi,
I little heartwarming article, thanks. It’s always amazing that it is often the little things that we most appreciate about our partners, things which, I guess, make them stand out from others and show that they think of us.
12:20 am
How sweet! My husband is the same. He always fills the tank and I never think about it. Actually I think once I tried to fill it and couldn’t remember which side it was on.
How wonderful that you recognize and acknowledge him.
Happy 13th.
Shelby
http://www.modernorganicmama.com
11:31 pm
Husbands are wonderful like that. My husband, too, keeps my car’s tank full.
When I met my husband he told me that he did not feel appreciated. One of my tasks (and an easy task at that!) is to let him know how much he is appreciated. Perhaps I should write it in a blog!
Having a full tank of gas is being appreciated, isn’t it?
I just realized I am responding to a post that was made 1.5 years ago but it is a timeless message. Hope your tank is still full!!!!
6:25 pm
It is still full, Laurie! Thanks so much for stopping by!!