Shannon is hosting a parenting advice collaboration for WFMW, so I thought I’d give it my best shot.
I remember when my good friend first offered to watch my kids while I ran errands — the friend who would one day have four kids of her own, all under the age of seven. The friend I think should probably be sainted and who I see as a role model for myself as a parent.
She said, “It’s really no problem. It’s easier when your kids are here.”
What?
I’m a do-everything-yourself-er. This was a huge step for me, partly because I was accepting help and partly because I felt completely responsible for returning a favor I didn’t feel all that confident about. It took me a few years to understand this logic, but she’s absolutely right. Playdates with good-match children make it easier on both caregivers, but I never would have believed it if I hadn’t experienced it myself.
Playdates create a different dynamic, that naturally separates squabbling siblings, and introduces a honeymoon period every time the playdate is held.
I appreciate the fact that my friend introduced me to this idea, and that I’ve been able to reciprocate, though not nearly as often, and with only half of her kids. I love playdates now, and look forward to hosting them just as much as enjoying the freetime I get when others do.
Works for me! What works for you? For more great tips, visit Rocks in My Dryer.
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7:14 am
While I’ve experienced the blessing of play groups, I’ve been fearful about hosting one. Feeling self-conscious about our home, its’ appearance, its cleanliness in the eyes of the other moms, the mess to clean up afterwards, serving the wrong snack or not having enough, etc. I’ve always been so awkward in situations like that. But, maybe (after reading your post today) I’ll take the leap. Any suggestions for a playgroup host newbie?! *wink*
8:12 am
I know what you mean - it can be daunting to try it. My suggestion is to make an activity out of snacktime or lunch. Have them help pack a picnic in the yard. Or gather the ingredients for a fun snack they can help assemble. This way, you have some structured time doing something that needs to get done anyway (eating!) Otherwise, I’d suggest having one area designated as the playspace and let them go. They’ll find their own fun. Good luck!
10:03 am
I completely agree!
11:30 am
Oh, yes!! I’ve had similar reluctant feelings to let anyone help me, even when they insist it actually helps *them*, but I’ve done it enough now to know that it is very true. With the important caveat of course that it needs to be friends who have similar parenting philosophies, etc so everyone is compatible!
Thanks for the tip - I hope it will inspire other moms to try swapping playdates and enjoy some time to themselves!
9:13 pm
Oh, I so agree with you on this one. There can be issues if the kids’ personalities don’t mesh well, but usually it is easier– especially, since my daughter appears to be an extrovert and I’m an introvert. I always have to find something or someone to keep her busy, or it gets too draining for lil’ ole me.
12:08 am
Great advice! I imagine that moms build friendships in this manner too! BTW, I have a post up about a special charity that has supported my classroom http://www.donorschoose.com . They could use the votes of American Express Members. If you are a member would you mind stopping by? Thanks!
3:11 pm
I actually find this to be true as well. I also wonder if it’s true that my daughter is better at someone else’s home than she is at mine because when parents pick their kids up they’re always so worried that their child was a stinker and they’re usually good as gold for me. But I know I’m the same way when I pick my kids up….
Hugs,
Holly
7:15 am
It works great for normal children. But, like Dawn said, the parenting philosophies should be about equal.
Soem parents use their guest as cheap babysitters. They disappear somewhere in the house and do their things.
That’s not what I want for my children.
8:27 am
Playdates - A Mom’s Best Friend
Sometimes parents worry about initiating play dates because it can seem overwhelming. But it can also make life a lot easier for caregivers.
8:52 pm
I love playdates too. It keeps me from going nuts the whole week. I know ours is only one day a week, but it’s fun for him and gives me an hour to myself while I wait for him to be done.