This is Part 4 in my Homeschool Experiment Results series. Read about Why we started, the JOYS, and the STRUGGLES.
I’ve written this post so many times in my head — the first versions, in tears.
I’m over that now, and at this point we’re all looking forward to the next chapter in our lives — even though it doesn’t include schooling at home. In some ways, I feel like I’ve let you all down, because you’ve been such great cheerleaders for me over the past eight months of this homeschool experiment.
If you know me in real life, you’re probably not surprised. You know that my days were already filled — between my company and writing — and it was probably ludicrous to think this experiment could continue longterm. You also know that I have a thousand irons in the fire, at all times. You know my husband’s a public school principal, and he feels uncomfortable having to explain why his kids are homeschooled. If you’ve read the STRUGGLES, you know the year hasn’t been completely peaches ‘n cream either.
I want to homeschool my kids. I love the idea of it, the theory, the opportunities it presents. I love the homeschoolers I’ve met, and I love the lifestyle it promises. I love everything I’ve learned with, and about my kids. And I believe we’d overcome the challenges with time and commitment.
But I also want to continue my professional life. I enjoy all I do as a writer and with youth empowerment. To continue homeschooling at the level I expect of myself, would require more change and fewer professional pursuits.
And — recovering perfectionist that I am — I want to be a GREAT mother, teacher, wife, and professional person. While these things are not mutually exclusive, it isn’t especially realistic for me to pursue all of these goals, at the warp speed I do everything. Some people are able to manage all of it, and do so very well. I applaud and envy these people, and wish I could buy that efficiency in a bottle. I just haven’t found that balance.
I could be better organized — but I’m not.
I could be more patient — but I’m not.
I could enjoy wrestling my eight-year-old — but I don’t.
My daughter could stay a child forever — but she won’t.
My kids could be robots, that don’t argue, complain, interrupt or talk constantly — but they’re not.
Do I think we failed? Absolutely not. I’m confident our kids will perform very well academically, and fit in with their classmates. I think we’ve done things this year, that they may never have another opportunity to experience. I think I will continue to interact with my kids as a teacher sometimes, because they’re accustomed to that now. I think I’ll work hard to know what they are learning in school, and learn along with them. I think I’ll be a better mom.
In fact, when I consider this crazy expedition we did this year, I wonder if it could potentially be the most important thing I’ve ever done for my kids. And even though the experience only lasted for a single year, it will be something that forever shifts the way we interact as a family. We’re closer, we understand each other better, and we’re aware of how much we weren’t paying attention before. When we look back on “that year we homeschooled”, I’m certain we’ll remember the JOYS, more than we do the STRUGGLES.
Would we do it again? In a heartbeat. If we were faced with another situation where we needed to travel for a while or move somewhere short-term, or if our kids needed to miss a lot of school for some reason, I wouldn’t hesitate to homeschool again. It was an excellent option for us. No regrets. Not one.
Where do we go from here? Back to the city where our kids were born, to the community where we both worked a decade ago. It’s more suburban, has greater opportunities, and higher-achieving schools. Old friends are there. And we’re moving into town — something we’ve never done before — to get the convenience we’ve been lacking, as we move into the next, very-busy years in our family’s life. Lucky for us, we now have great new friends as well — homeschool friends — that we’ll keep in touch with when we return to the cabin in the summer and on weekends.
I sincerely thank you all for your support, encouragement, and advice this year. You’ll never know what an impact you had on our family. You helped to make our year the best it could be.
Please stay tuned tomorrow, for the grand finale of the Homeschool Experiment Results series — a collaboration of homeschooling advice and tips, from homeschoolers all over the blogosphere. If you’re a homeschooler, please remember to write your advice post and put your link here on Friday. Thanks!
HOMESCHOOL EXPERIMENT RESULTS SERIES:
WHY WE STARTED
the JOYS
the STRUGGLES
the FUTURE for us
UPDATE after we Quit Homeschooling
Family out of Sync
Other Homeschooling Experiment milestones:
The Beginning
Week One - Starting with a Frazzle
Five Steps to Drive Yourself off a Cliff
Week Two - Just when I thought I knew what I was doing
Week Three — Let there be CRAFTS!
One-month Review
D’s Review at One Month
Week Five - Stress and frustration
Week Seven - Flip-flopping curriculum
Note to self - Consider having low expectations some weeks
Two-Month Review — Some aha moments
Three-Month Review — Not all peaches and cream
Four-Month Review — Loving ancient history
Five-Month Review — What I underestimated
Six-Month Review - Let’s Just Skip this Month
Seven-Month Review — Curriculum Review
D’s research paper — Save the Earth Saturday series
Tales of a Fourth-Grade Guinea Pig
All posts about the experiment — including WAY-COOL FIELD TRIPS!
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Tags: home school, homeschool, homeschool experiment, homeschooling, quit, results
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8:40 pm
My heart knows the kids will remember it as the best school year of their life.
9:12 pm
I think you are amazing! I am proud to “know” you and appreciate your honesty and trust in us to share with us what you are learning and have already learned…thank you!
9:15 pm
Pamela and Tamara — you don’t know how much I appreciate your kind words. Thank you, thank you for your support!
1:30 pm
Kelly, it’s interesting to me that this is one of my favorite things you’ve ever written. It’s so honest…and shares smuch of your thinking. None of your decisions have come without consideration; there’s been an almost palpable tension, unspoken but present, in much of your writing during the year.
I love how you view this experience! It’s clear even the struggles are their own version of success. Your departure from “the experiment” is with grace and reason. It’s not an indictment of homeschooling; it’s understanding YOUR circumstances and what works best for YOUR family.
It will be a delight to continue hearing about Miss D and Mr. C…but also your career pursuit. I have a regard for all things “Kelly” and I’m thankful your in my blogging circle (although my own ability to write/read has been impaired for a while now and I DON’T have homeschooling to point a finger to…:/).
Thanks for letting us walk this road with you, even if it’s been cheering you on on the sidelines!
1:46 pm
Robin - you’ve been right there with me along the way, too! Thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate them so much. I feel fortunate to be in the same blogging circle as you…
2:14 pm
You’re moving? From your description - it sounds wonderful! I hope it works out as well as you hope. But, you’re still around for h-school advice to us rookies, right? *wink*
3:34 pm
Oh Kelly, I know so well the road of tough decisions, especially regarding where to live with you AND with your kids. I’m so glad that you’ve been able to find the right answers for you and your family at this time. It’s been an amazing year and I’ve learned so much from all that you’ve shared! Here’s wishing you many more rainbows ahead.
Hugs,
Holly
5:20 pm
Beth - Yes, we’re moving, but keeping our current home (a cabin) as well. It’s only about 45 minutes from where we’ll be living, so we can visit often. I think it’s the right decision for us, and YES! I’d be very happy to answer any questions you “rookies” have! Of course, I’m a retired “rookie” myself;)
Holly — thanks so much for your sweet comment. I’m so glad you’ve been along with me on the journey!
9:11 pm
I admire you for making the decisions you have made and for the reasons you made them. I am not good home-schooling Mom material (frown) and I admire those who can, yet I am thankful we have a great public school here!
Best wishes in the new journey(s)! Keep us posted!
9:18 pm
Thanks so much for your support, Tonya! I’ll surely keep you all posted with our future adventures - whatever they may be;)
2:20 am
I have that feeling I get after I’ve been totally involved in a great book or movie. I’ve lived the heights and depths vicariously, am emotionally exhausted but so glad to have had the experience. Thanks so much for sharing your story, Kelly. I admire the way you’ve tried so hard to be honest all along and allowed yourself to take the risk of sharing your true feelings and thoughts. My editing head also continues to admire the clarity and tightness of your writing.
How exciting to be standing in the doorway of your next adventure!
7:17 am
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4:08 pm
I’ve enjoyed reading about your homeschool journey.
Every family is different and everyone has to make the choices that are right for their own family. Best wishes with the move…we moved a couple years ago…twice…and I know that’s not always an easy process. I hope you’ll continue sharing about the adventures in your life. Hugs. Ann’Re
10:51 pm
Kelly… I think it’s so wonderful how committed your whole family was to this part of your lives. I think that this will be a time that they will carry in their hearts forever.
Shoot, I’m just proud to know you… You’ll always be Super Woman to me.
1:59 pm
I think it’s great to know when it’s time to move on. Your kids have definitely benefited from this last year and will treasure the memories forever. Good luck in your new endeavors!
2:35 am
Hi.
You certainly have the right reason to start with.
Things don’t always work out as planned. Maybe it will come to you in a different way.
8:27 pm
I also enjoyed reading your journey regarding home schooling and I am sorry that it didn’t work out with your family. I admire you courage for being strong about it though.
7:05 pm
I think that it was great for them to see you try. To see the process of doing something and learning that it doesn’t work for you. Too many times people stay with something that isn’t working because they don’t want to admit failure. To see you experience as an experiment instead of a failure is an very important lesson for you and for them.
They have seen the whole process and now they know that they can try something totally out of their comfort zone to see if its right for them and confidently know that the world will not collapse if it isn’t.
Homeschooling is very hard; I do it every week and I have had to give up a LOT of other things to do it. It is not right for everyone but I (and probably everyone else) give you credit for trying.
7:57 pm
Thank you SO MUCH, Megan, for your support. That’s precisely the way I see it as well. We’ve all learned a lot this year - more than any books could teach us. And we’re stronger individuals for the experience.
7:34 am
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9:37 pm
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10:20 am
Homeschool Experiment Results Series - Why we’re quitting
Explanation of why one family chose to quit homeschooling. It’s part of a series they call the “Homeschool Experiment.”
12:44 pm
Cherish the memories of this chapter but look ahead to the new and exciting times coming up!
Sounds as if it was a wonderful experiment, something you will always remember with joy!
Good Luck with the new endeavors!
1:24 pm
Congrats in trying and I’m sorry it didn’t work out.
2:04 am
I support every American family’s right to make the best choice for them.
That said, however, I have never understood the whole homeschooling philosophy/trend and for myself and my family, do not believe in it.
My kids need to get out in the world each day, away from home and parents, and learn to function. They need to interact with all kinds of folks in all different situations and learn to get along. They need to make decisions, make choices, and do it all without the benefit of mom being in the next room to bail them out.
And I need my life. I could never stay home with them all day every day. I would go nuts.
Bluntly, if my kid were enrolled in your husband’s school, I would be one of the parents asking where his own kids were.
I think there are huge regional differences related to this subject.
Where I live, homeschooling is exceedingly rare and usually comes about when there is some sort of difficulty that makes it a better choice than a traditional classroom approach. I have a couple of friends whose children have disabilities, for example, and the ability to homeschool has been a godsend for them. In such situations it should, as I said at the outset, be an available choice.
Congratulations on making a decision and I hope that you have peace with it & everyone is happy, productive and flourishes during the upcoming schoolyear.
6:59 am
JHS -
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. There’s definitely a lot of controversy related to homeschooling. I just happen to be one of those people that very clearly witnesses both sides.
I think many homeschoolers do an excellent job of providing all the real-world experiences children should have. Others’ purpose is specifically to shield them from those experiences. The beauty of homeschooling is you can do it however you see fit.
We didn’t have the choice of going to my husband’s school this year because we didn’t live in the district. But this coming schoolyear, we could be open-enrolled (met the deadline.) So this is the year we’d have a lot of questions to answer. Honestly, thought, the school where my husband works isn’t a good fit at all - high poverty, low achievement, low parental education — and most of the parents there aren’t paying any attention to anything. It’s the teachers that would have raised the questions with our family.
Hopefully we’ve found a workable solution. We’ll see in the next year!
7:30 am
[…] We’ve been moving for about a month, ever since I mentioned it here. […]
5:52 pm
Dear Lady I was so blessed to read this. I have been home schooling up until last March. I went on our 25th wedding anniversary tip and just fell apart and came to terms it was time to stop. My son is 6 and daughter 10. I am very much like you grateful for the time I did school them. They have a very broad knowledge base. They also have a strong moral character base and know how to make choices.
I am so glad to see the contentment and lack of inappropriate guilt.
11:07 pm
i just came across this tonight (meaning i haven’t been following all along), and i haven’t read your archives, but i wanted to say: i think you’re doing the right thing. i am 23 years old and i was home-schooled for most of my life — but i don’t feel that i am any better (or worse) for it. i think it is highly commendable for you to continue to advance your career. i also think there is a lot to be said for being the ‘type’ of parent who homeschools — who goes beyond believing that a traditional school can provide everything their child needs. a school system can’t do that; their purpose is to educate the child, not nourish them. that being said, you obviously do not have to homeschool your child to provide them with that necessary nourishment - the experiences that lead to a richer life can be done outside of school. i read an article awhile back about a family that considers themselves to be “a homeschooling family” despite the fact that their children are all in traditional school.
8:19 am
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8:47 am
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